I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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