so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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