No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
