He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
