Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Quick, to the slutcave!
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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