Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
