We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
