Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
