i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
