So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
