I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
