good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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