Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
