??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
