I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
