I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
