I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
