I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
