I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize
