im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
