just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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