why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
