it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
