Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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