I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
