8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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