butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
