Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
