i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
