Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
