We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
