he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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