Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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