How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
