Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Pooping to opera.
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