I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize
