Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
