I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
