I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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