Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
