Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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