Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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