I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
