I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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