Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
