I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
