just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
This is the high leading the old right now
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
