he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
