dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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