Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
