I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
