Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
